This is a Misplaced File


I’ve loved before
Gazed longingly and desired for more
I’ve fallen into pits of infatuation
Gotten myself into difficult situations

I’ve gone out and dated lots
Made them friends, yet never tied the knots
I’ve constantly made myself and my feelings clear
Always tried to be sincere

I’ve spoken of love as a many splendored thing
Dreamed of eternal bliss and wearing a wedding ring
I’ve loved and lost, and that’s what makes it hard
Learned from my mistakes, but couldn’t move forward

I’ve seen that love can make you act uncontrollably
Noticed that it can make you go distances, undeniably
I’ve realized that you can never have the man you truly long for
Experienced this several times before

I’ve thought time and time again that true romantic love doesn’t exist
Planted it in as a purely hypothetical gist
I’ve dubbed it as a figment mortal man’s imagination
Come to declare that after love comes annihilation

I’ve eradicated my trust on sweet flattery
Waged emotional war against flowery poetry
I’ve spent my days in restless preoccupation
Tried to ease the pain and heartless contradiction

I’ve loved once, twice and maybe even thrice
Gotten responses as cold as ice
I’ve vanquished the thought of falling for the wrong guy – again
Set my mind and prepare for the moment when…


©Nel 2000

Sometime 2000 | Cebu City

Side Note on the Misplaced Files: The Misplaced Files are poems, thoughts, rants, and musings that were written on pieces of paper, notebooks, napkins and textbooks from 1996 (freshman in high school) to around 2005 (fifth year in college). All rough, random and unedited – posted in varying chronology as an effort preserve what might otherwise be lost in a fire or by the very act of my mom cleaning out the closets.


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